Feeling alone & reaching out...

Monday morning I woke hearing our firefly Liva singing, “Blink Joy. Blink Faith. Blink Hope. Blink Love. Shining Light, sent from above. Please listen, hear what I say, share your firefly light today.”

I didn’t want to share. I was angry, exhausted from Big Shoes stomping on me and abusing their power. I wanted to hide.

And yet Liva kept singing, “Share your firefly light today.”

I can fight internally, truly wrestle, offering excuse after excuse of why it’s better for me to stay hidden, stay small, hide in a flower. 

Eventually, I made one phone call. Tapping in each number on my cell phone felt awkward, ridiculous, pointless. I called anyways, keenly aware that my cynicism, my pessimism, my fears are exactly where and how the whispering of evil thrives.

Instead of feeling depressed and stewing, I reached out. I called a few neighbors and asked them about their experiences with the Big Shoes.

I called an older woman whom I had admired from afar. We talked for three hours. I listened carefully to details of events involving Big Shoes that had caused her harm. She was surprised that I cared. As an elderly woman, she said she often feels invisible. My eyes teared up when she shared this truth with me because I could see this was a real part of her everyday existence. 

I tried to open my heart to her suffering, to hold space, kindness and love. 

I watched her eyes fill with tears.

There is a peace that arrives when one is heard.

She offered me a longer horizon perspective. She described a time in our community that had more joy and serenity. She had wisdom to share, and I was thankful to hear and receive. This gave me hope. 

Hope helped me breathe more deeply.

Eventually, our sharing turned to heart-warming stories and laughter.

When our conversation was coming to a close, she expressed gratitude that I had listened and that we had laughed together. 

It had started with my calling and asking if she’s attend an HOA meeting with me because I was nervous to go alone.

“Of course!” She said. 

I remembered we are never as alone as we think we are.

Here’s the animated video of Liva’s song, “Share Your Light: the Firefly Way.”

Wishing you courage & peace,

Kathleen

(Mama Kat, my grandma name)